Sunday Chat with Dad

Hey Dad, today is the day that has been set aside to honor our earthly fathers. It naturally makes me think about my father who passed away years ago. He was a good man. He provided for his family and loved us in his own way. We weren't close. We never developed an emotional connection. In my adult years I never considered him a "friend". I never seeked his counsel. I don't think about him much. I don't miss him. 

The greatest influence he's had on me is not what to do... not how to be. I don't want to have the same kind of relationship with my son that my father and I had. This isn't a post to criticize or condemn him. He came from a different time where to him, a father provided financially and materially for his family, while the mother did all the nurturing and disciplining. He wasn't abusive or mean. He just didn't take a personal interest in his children... beside making sure we were collectively clothed, fed, housed and educated. I thank him and honor him for that. He did more than some men I know. 

I think about my relationship with my son today. He is my world. I took 4 months parental leave when he was 8 months old. Our bond is solid. We are very close. I enjoy being his father. I feel honored that he is my son. It is said that children are a gift from you, Dad. I appreciate and cherish your gift. However sometimes it scare me. Not the responsibility to nurture and raise him to be the best man he can be. What scares me is the depth of love I have for him. 

I think of the story of Abraham and Isaac.

Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham,"Father?" "Yes, my son?" Abraham replied. "The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering? Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together . When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” "Here I am,” he replied. “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

I always marvelled at this story... Abraham's complete faith that you, Dad, would provide a sacrifice in place of his only begotten son. I don't have that depth of faith. I couldn't sacrifice my son at your command. I love him that much. Does that mean I don't love or "fear" You as Abraham did? That's what scares me at times. I now understand the love you had for me to sacrifice your only begotten Son on my behalf. I feel guilty and unworthy at times.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 

However Dad, I take comfort because I know you understand. You are love. You are the strength in my weaknesses. You are the calm in my fears. You teach me about your love for me, in the love I have for my son. You have blessed me once again with the opportunity to be a father. Your perfect love as my heavenly Father is a beacon that I strive towards as an earthly father.