Hi Pops, the past few weeks you have been teaching me a lot about the value and wisdom of being silent. I have recently seen people saying way too much in situations where the less that was said, the better it would have been.
One of the tenets of our society is freedom of speech, so we have all been conditioned to not only exercise our right to speak as much as we can, but to further believe we have a right to be heard. Everyone therefore has something to say... and the more they get to say, the more attention they expect to receive... and the more attention they receive, the more they believe they're valued and respected. There are also those who believe that the more they say, the more intelligent they are... or appear to be.
Paradoxically, as a police officer I have learnt that the right to remain silent is for the benefit of the guilty. The innocent have nothing to tell but the truth. The guilty who wish to take responsibility for their actions are more than willing to confess and be accountable. Both don`t need to say much... and they usually don`t.
"We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak" Epictetus, Greek Philosopher.
You are forever teaching me the benefit of listening. I am consistently working at getting my point across in as few words as possible. Sometimes just a "look" suffices... lol!
I thank you for teaching me this very important lesson: sometimes there is no value engaging in discussion or debate.
"Do not give that which is holy to the dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample upon them with their feet and turn and tear you in pieces." Matthew 7:6
Good listening skills are invaluable especially if one can comprehend what they're hearing thus the importance of language and how we communicate.
ReplyDeleteMost public speakers and those who have to teach or relay information 1:1 or in a group can attest that silence (at times)can be terrifying. There is this human need to fill in the pauses and people get distracted in conversation when there are few words unless they are profound.
Useless chatter (that's subjective) rumor spreading and making up stuff as you go are salient points for being quiet and listening more....though. :-)
The Matthew 7:6 verse is intriguing and for many years I wondered who the dogs and swine represented. Were they the naysayers and unbelievers of that time? Does one cease in espousing a point or an issue to those who aren't receptive? Was the writer of that passage just put out and disgusted with the persecution of those who followed the teachings of Jesus? Is that why in modern times people run and hide when Jehovah Witnesses ring their door bells? They don't want to hear it. Are they the dogs and swine? Hmmm....
(By the way I'm not a Jehovah Witness)
Jesus according to scriptures spoke to anyone who would listen and to those who didn't and thus had to clean house at times. I'm talking about the moneychangers in the temple.
I know there are instances when I feel like I'm talking to the choir and choose to be silent and those times when the opposition is so strong--they can't or won't hear me out.
As a police officer, I'm so sure you've heard it all and sometimes breathe a sign of relief when giving Miranda rights to suspects.
Listening is again so important but learning to say things in an effective manner is equally important. Oh and that "look" says more than a 1000 words..yes it was effective with me as I grew up and how I reared my children and how I communicated with others when I'd had enough. LOLOLOL!
I so enjoy these talks between you and Dad.
I'm going to meditate on that scripture!
ReplyDelete